FOR SALE: ONE GENTLY USED CHARIOT

                                                 

"If you can't get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."

         ~ GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

"... There is one thing about my ignoble lot. They have always been wise enough to marry better than they might otherwise have been, and indeed, wise enough to always marry well...

Such is the case with my own family line ...

Okay, you family history slackers, it's about time we had some fun. Yeah, no trips to the Ferris Wheel, County Fair, or even Disneyworld.  I'm not giving you any more war heroes, pilgrims, or Salem witches either. I thought instead we'd look at a notable connection we might have otherwise missed amidst the "genetic mix" of it all. Let me just say however (without giving too much of it away in the first paragraph) that this particular genetic connection isn't to the somewhat zealous fellow in the picture above - though the fellow in the picture bears an old family name of ours - a Quaker one - and only that it's a reasonably close connection. Go figure, right?

And no it's not frickn' Moses.

So how is it that we are related to someone who bears one of our family names but to whom we are also not related?

Nah, I'm not saying just yet. Nice try.

Is that guy in the picture above starting to look a wee bit familiar?

I'd looked at this connection once before but dismissed it as not worth pursuing. Today, however, and after checking to see the proximity of this particular connection to my great-grandfather Frank A. Record - well, I figured maybe I'd better take another look. You see, the tacit father of the man in the picture above is Frank Record's third cousin - making the guy in the picture a pretty close relation. (And, it's not "God" either...)

So to explain in modern-day terms: 

Think of the relationship between the man's father and Frank Record like the relationship between my son Justin Record's daughters Josselin and Jillian Record to my cousin Todd Record's granddaughter Sage Record - they're third cousins - so it's really pretty damn close in Ye Old Branches.

BUT again - we're really not actually related to the man in the picture (at least not to the degree of a third cousin) just to his "father." So exactly how does that work?  (You didn't expect me to make this easy for you, did you? :)

Here is a Quaker document that relates to our common ancestry:

And a small summation of the above document below:

    

   

And yes, the name is HESTON - as in the award-winning actor Charlton Heston. Is it starting to make sense yet? 

              Hey, it's me - your cousin Chuck.

Charlton Heston was born "John Charles Carter." However, his mother, Lilla Baines Charlton Carter divorced his father (the irascible Mr. Carter) when "Charlton" was a young boy and married our great-grandfather Frank's third cousin, CHESTER HESTON. 

The actor and his siblings eventually took the surname of the man who raised them.

     

   

 Okay, stop your complaining. You're just mad you didn't get that Oscars Invite back in '57. (Wink!)  Here is what the genealogy looks like below. And so that it will look more familiar to you, I have included a picture of "Cousin Charlton" with some of our own closer family members - you may recognize some of them. :)

                     

(Okay, you gotta admit that was pretty funny...)

                      

                                

Above: Hester Schooley Record whose grandmother was Margaret Heston Schooley

       

      

            

I don't know about you, but I don't see why Frank and Gertrude didn't get their invitation to attend the Academy Awards. I mean they were in Southern California that year. Maybe their invitation just got lost in the mail? Maybe "Cousin Charlton" sent the limo to pick them up in Long Beach to take them to the Pantages Theater for the ceremony and made them swear to never tell a soul. (Personally, I'm gonna go with that version of the story.)

                    

If not, well, you know, there's just no accountin' for the bad manners of some people's cousins!   

My great grandparents Frank and Gertie probably gave up waiting for Cousin Chuck's limo to arrive and figured they'd just go to the beach.

  

But did you really think that this was all there is to it? That I would leave you with some cheesy third-rate third-cousin connection to a simple Hollywood great? Boring! Nah, I'm not even going to tell you about how Cousin Chuck's wife Lydia Clarke is likely descended from the same Mayflower passenger as my grandmother Katheryn Ogle Record. 

Nah, check out the small asterisk in the genealogy diagram above next to a guy named Zebulon Heston II. Now this guy was the star. For lack of a better explanation, let's just call Zebulon Heston II my seven-times great-grandfather. 

This guy made some peace with the Indians. I don't know about you, but I think that's kinda cool. He "befriended" a guy named "Chief White Eyes."  White Eyes or Chief Koquethaqecheton was the leader of the Lenape Delaware Indians. In typical Quaker fashion, our ancestor Zebulon Heston tried to make things right with both the colonists and the Indians while adding a wee bit o'religion along the way. He and Chief White Eyes appear to have gotten along rather well:

           

                          

So for those of you who might care to know the whole story of our seven times great grandfather's peace-making trip with Chief White Eyes and the Delaware Indians - here is a good summation below:

So you've gotta admit that while having a close family connection to some legendary if not too far right-wing Hollywood icon is pretty cool, that having even a distant connection to Chief White Eyes and our peacemaking wampum-toting Great Grandpa Zebulon might even be better.

In the meantime though - do you know anyone who wants to buy a low-mile gently used chariot? (Cousin Chuck said I should as around...)

            

 Cousin Chuck Heston in Hollywood's "Ben Hur"

Until next time...?

PEACE!